Second

If you’re ready and you want it to happen and if all your bits and bobs are in decent working order, then the choice to have another child should give you a good feeling.

And it felt right, when my daughter was five, to chuck the old special smarties in the bin and say “Izzy wizzy, let’s get busy!”* 

*Please note, using a catchphrase from The Sooty Show here is merely for euphemism purposes. (Hand puppets were in no way involved in conception activities).

We’d said we’d wait until she was walking. Then when she took her first steps when she was three - thanks to her leg pads and walking frames, and physiotherapy sessions - the waiting period was extended to “when she gets a bit better at walking”. And then, as time passed, I realised the real reason for procrastination was fear.

I was afraid I wasn’t strong enough to cope if something went wrong.

I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to give a new baby and my daughter the attention each would demand and deserve.

And I was afraid that a new baby would grow up shouldering a responsibility they didn’t ask for: a sibling with a disability that will always need their support.

And then I thought: “Oh, sod it. It’ll be fun.”

Video is Marvin Gaye & Kim Weston - It Takes Two