Pirates

She had no idea what his name was. But she could see he was a pig. And a pirate. And that deserved a hug.

My daughter was feeling friendly yesterday, which was more than could be said for me, having attended a hen do the day before. A family trip to Gulliver’s Land - a theme park with numerous spinning rides - was not an ideal destination for a mildly-hungover, middle-aged woman, but I went with the flow. Queasily.

Pirate Pig was a cuddly highlight for my girl, as was the Pirate Ship, which made me turn a whiter shade of pale even when I was merely adopting the get out guise of Official Photographer.

The day was dizzying in more ways than one. A large part of the afternoon was spent painstakingly going through the reasons why the rides had notices on them saying they weren’t suitable for people with back conditions. And my daughter's circular conversation revolved more reliably than Gulliver’s Giant Teacups:

“Do the notices mean I can’t go on because of my back operation?” 
“Well, you have had a back operation because of your scoliosis, but what did Dr Gavin say? No rollercoasters or rides that were very jerky, but smooth ones are OK, aren’t they?” 
“But what about the notices?” 
“Well, it’s up to Mummy, because I know what Dr Gavin said, so you’re fine to go on this one.”
“So it’s OK?”
“Yes.”
“But what about the notices?”
“That’s so people don’t sue.”
“What’s sue?”
“Blame the park for hurting their back.”
“Will it hurt my back?”
“No.”
“But what about the notices?”

I managed to snap her out of it with the timely distraction of drink and snack time in Lilliput Land Castle (otherwise known as ‘the café’). I, for one, felt much better after a cuppa. Not so good after sitting in an unidentified sticky foodstuff on the café chair. And definitely not great after a go on the Flying Texan Boots. 

As for the Twist 'n' Joust, I don’t want to talk about it.

Video is Alela Diane - The Pirate's Gospel