Sunday, 13 November 2016

Stricken

When you’re 18 years old and you have special needs there are many things you might be worried about. 

What new health issues will you have? What will happen to you when you finish school? Will you be able to cope with a college environment? What services and opportunities will be available to you as an adult? 

Even if you can’t articulate or fully understand these looming matters, you know that Big Stuff is there. Doing what Big Stuff does. Loom, mainly. 

So what is it you have a complete, three hour-long meltdown about?

Ed Balls on Strictly Come Dancing, that’s what.

Sunday morning in our household was spent trying to douse my daughter’s flaming fire of grief and disbelief at the fact that former MP Ed Balls hasn’t yet been voted out of Strictly Come Dancing. 

Having caught up with last night’s show on the iPlayer, and cogitated for a while, my girl became strictly stricken with the possibility that the bollockly-monikered prancing politician could be VOTED IN when there were MUCH BETTER DANCERS who might be VOTED OUT. She cried real tears. She properly perseverated. (the repetitive repeating of repetitive repeating). We were dealing with a full-on, sequin shirt-inspired, wobbly wipeout.

Eventually I delegated the issue. I sent my husband off with the meltydown meltygirl (and her - for once - speechless brother) to visit Nanna (who actually watches the damn programme, unlike me). And I put my trainers on, crammed my cleavage into my sports bra, and went for a jog, leaving everyone else to deal with the balls-up. Yes, I literally ran away from the problem.

What are looking at me like that for? It bloody worked. Well, it did for me, anyway.

Video is Charles Bradley - Strictly Reserved For You

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