Chronicles

I came up with a new non-sweary swear today. It was a tweak of Sylvester the cat’s “Sufferin’ succotash”. “Perseveratin’ balderdash!” hasn’t quite got the same ring to it, but saying it to myself in a lispy cartoon moggy voice possibly saved my sanity (although if anyone had overheard they would have thought otherwise).

You see, my daughter has been putting the persevere into perseveration this week. (Perseveration is the uncontrollable repetition of certain phrases and questions. It’s a common trait with Prader-Willi Syndrome. She’s done it forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever...well, you get the idea).

Some of her questions and mantras have been around for a while, but what I realised today that one in particular is growing. It is having extensions added to it. 

I had a little search through the posts on this blog, and discovered the earliest recorded instance of the pick of her perseverations was in April 2011, when I noted that “Have I still got lots of teeth?” was high up in that week's Top Five of her repetitive sayings. Over the months, this morphed into “Do I grind my teeth?” and later: “Do I gnash my teeth. I don’t gnash my teeth do I?”, and then later still the addendum: “This tooth is worn down more than that one, isn’t it?”

A few weeks ago, I broke my rule of not engaging with the tooth questions after five times of answering them, and told her in no uncertain terms that she didn’t need to ask them any longer as she hadn’t ground her teeth together since she was little. She demanded to know exactly how long, and I came up with an arbitrary answer, which has now been tacked on. So the perseveratin’ balderdash now goes something like this (keep in mind this is a sample of my girl having a complete conversation with herself, answering all her own questions in a slightly exasperated manner, at the same time as directing all the questions to the silently teeth-gnashing me)...“Do I gnash my teeth? I don’t, do I? No, of course you don’t. Is this tooth worn down more than that one? It is, isn’t it? No it’s not. Do I gnash my teeth? I don’t do I? No, of course not. You haven’t done it for 12 years!” 

Ad. Bleedin’. Infinitum.

So I’ve started to have this thought. It’s kind of wicked. I’m going to have to think carefully about it, because it has every chance of backfiring. But I’ve realised that I probably have the power to shape the continuing growth of the Tooth Chronicles. What will the next clause be? And can I lob in something random, just to amuse myself?

I’ll report back in a few weeks. I’m thinking along the lines of: “You’re not a pterodactyl in a tutu.” 

Video is Edwyn Collins - Do It Again

Year

One year ago, I wrote my first entry on this blog, with little idea that 12 months later I’d have posted more than 150 of the buggers.

Most have been fun to write. Some have been hugely difficult. 

I’ve realised some things about my daughter - and myself - that I’m not sure I would have understood or dealt with if I hadn’t sat at my keyboard, sometimes in the dead of night, tapping out little bits of my heart.

This blog has had just over 36,000 page views, which sounds quite a lot, until you realise that 1,000 of those came from Google searches where people were looking for a picture of an oyster, apparently. Still, I know there are a few of you out there who’ve stuck with me, so thanks.

If it wasn’t for this wee speck on the internet, I wouldn’t have get to know some fine people, both online and in the meat world. If it wasn’t for this outlet, I wouldn’t always have slept so soundly. And if it wasn’t for the positive feedback I’ve had, I would never have dreamed of getting up on stage in front of a pub full of strangers and talking about my daughter back in January (as detailed in the blog entry Secret). Those 10 terrifying minutes in the spotlight helped rid me of more demons than a Buffy The Vampire Slayer re-enactment society.

I still love my girl as fiercely as ever. I still feel lucky to have her and my boy, against all the odds. I still want to share the good bits, the bad bits and the bits that make me laugh.

Thanks for listening. All of you. Even the man who keeps wanting to help me increase the size of my penis. FOR THE 100th TIME, I HAVEN’T GOT ONE, ALL RIGHT?

Song is Edwyn Collins & Johnny Marr - Come Tomorrow, Come Today

Here's a Spotify playlist with all the songs I've posted on this blog in the past year. Well nearly all - a couple aren't on Spotify. And I've been revisionist and ignored Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey's Christmas duet. Because no-one should have to listen to that.