Bango

My daughter has something in common with a large number of children with special needs: she doesn’t like loud noises. Certain big bangs, crashes or wallops can upset her, although she’s not affected quite as badly as the autistic lad in her class who wears ear defenders and as a consequence looks like a miniature DJ who’s lost his decks.  

She updated me with the latest chart, today. Here they are, in reverse order, pop pickers.

5) Fire bells

“You don’t need to worry about fire bells, really, sweetheart, because they only have a drill every so often, and they only last for a minute or two,” I said to her last year. The day before her school had a fire. The day before the bell went off for about half an hour. The day before the fire bell was topped by the ear-splitting squeal of fire engine sirens, just to add another level of wrongness to the How Wrong Was Mum scale.

4) Loud people, particularly [name redacted] and [name redacted] in her class

A bit specific, this one.

3) Daddy, drilling

My husband does not do much DIY. I do not encourage him to do more. When he does, the rest of us go out.

2) Pop concerts/music

My girl is very concerned about music being too loud. Her parents’ choice of music more so than her own, but even her beloved One Direction tunes are never turned up to 11, which is something to be grateful for, I suppose. A few years ago, she went to ‘The Big Gig’, a show organised by the Guides at Wembley Arena, and still talks about how it was too loud. Pixie Lott was on the bill, so I would have to agree.

1) Rheumatic drills

When she told me this I wondered, for a fleeting moment, where on earth she’d seen a Sergeant Major doing that marching Sound Off song with a bunch of arthritic pensioners, and how noisy would that be anyway? Then I realised she meant pneumatic drills, which is fair enough.

You may have noticed fireworks aren’t on the list. After a brief spell in the charts a few years back, they have consistently failed to feature in the affronted eardrum countdown. She’s decided she likes them. "They're a different kind of loud, Mum. Thunder's all right, too."

So tonight, we’ve been to a display (with a set of ear defenders stuffed in my bag, just in case of a sudden change of mind, but which weren't needed). We’re off to a friend’s firework party on Saturday, too.  And we’ll have a bangin’ time, because they're the right sort of decibels, apparently.

Song is Billy & The King Bees - Bango

Related posts: 
Kaboom
Blast

Kaboom

My friends' fireworks party went off with a bang. Well, several bangs, a collection of whomps and at least half a dozen kabooms.

There were also fizzes, flashes, cascades of colour, muddy shoes, red cheeks, hat hair, crackling wood, sizzling sausages, oohs, aaahs, and not a spark of trouble.

My daughter slept all the way home, the motorway lights flashing rhythmically across her face as music rang out from our car stereo, mixing with the light sabre swooshes from my boy's Lego Star Wars DS game.

The Force was strong with us last night.

Video is Inspiral Carpets - Irresistible Force

Related post: Fireworks

Fireworks

Tonight we wage Alien War.

We’re heading across country to a friend’s house for a Fireworks Night party. We have a large combustible package stashed in the boot. 

It’s always a crash bang wallop of a night, with a display that puts most organised events to shame. Everyone who comes is instructed to bring one big firework, which all feature in a thunderous finalé, accompanied by shouts of: “That’s mine!” “No, that’s MINE!” 

Our firework is called Alien War. This is a cool name, whether you’re four, fourteen, or forty.

The war nomenclature is apt, as our plans, as usual, are military in nature:

• We’ve just had our hot dinner at lunchtime (a change to the normal drill that has been properly negotiated with our routine-loving daughter). 
• We’re packing no-sugar sweets and a couple of low calorie snacks (factored into today’s army rations).
• My daughter will be having hot dogs tonight (I know the make, the calories, and how many she can have). This has been sold as a “cold tea” although there has been much discussion as to how it is actually a “cold and hot tea”, which I fear will repeated ad infinitum on the way there. And back. 
• I’ll also be taking a low fat pudding and fruit. 
• She’ll be eating later than usual, but understands this, and although she’ll be hungry she really wants to eat at the same time as my friends’ kids, so I’m confident she’ll hold out.
• Appropriate clothing is vital. My girl’s odd circulation means her hands and feet get like blocks of ice, so we’ll be thermalling up with plenty of layers. The kitbag contains a very warm hat, scarf, and gloves.

The preparations are complete. Now I just have to work out how to tether my boy so he doesn’t hop on the back of a rocket and head skywards.

Video is Horace Andy - Skylarking

Video is The Aliens - Magic Man