Saturday, 3 September 2011


My daughter struggles with the concept of swapsies.

It’s an easy thing for me to understand. I’m not saying I was completely obsessed with World Cup football sticker collections as a kid, but my mate did once decide to nickname me Queen Panini.

So to me, swapping those two extra Kenny Sansoms for the Trevor Francis you needed to complete your Espana 82 England Squad made perfect sense.

Not so to my girl.

Yesterday, she finally completed the local library’s Summer Holiday Reading Scheme (no mean feat, as it involved reading 18 books). The theme this year was Circus Skills and included lots of little rewards as encouragement (a certificate, a wristband, stickers, a medal, and some Top Trump-style playing cards featuring cute monsters called Circus Munglers).

The helpful librarian had told us to pop in between 10am and 10.30am to collect her final prizes, as they were holding a Munglers Swapsie Session.

“Brilliant! You can get rid of some of your duplicates,” I told my daughter.
“But they’re mine. I got those cards for reading my books,” she said.
“Yes, but you can swap them.”
“But I want to keep them.”
“Yes, but you’ve already got more than one of them.”
“But that’s because I got them for reading my books.”
“Don’t you want to get all the characters?”
“Well, you’ll have to swap them, then.”
“But they’re mine.”

After about 35 minutes of this going round and round in circles, I finally got her to understand that this was a way of completing her set and letting someone else complete theirs, AND MAKING EVERYBODY HAPPY, OK?

So we went to the library.
She took her cards.
And no other bugger turned up.

Video is Aretha Franklin - Share Your Love With Me

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