Monday, 30 March 2020

Coronaclip


Oh, I cannot remember the last time I had so much fun.

I couldn’t wait any longer. No matter that we’ve only been in lockdown a week. 

My excuse is, his hair was in desperate need of a cut anyway. The truth is, I just wanted to be let loose on his head, armed only with really cheap clippers, blunt kitchen scissors, the faint memory of a cursory glance at a YouTube 'how to' video, and above all else, ineptitude, sheer ineptitude.

Laughing uncontrollably whilst wielding clippers is not necessarily recommended. It left a less-than-even finish, and minor cuts to three of the knuckles on my left hand.

We all decided the first attempt to comply with his request to ‘please keep it long on top’ was a triumph, but only if being judged in a Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber lookeelikee competition.

Despite a day’s worth of ‘It’s fine, no, really, it’s not as bad I as thought it would be,’ protestations from him, I told my boy we had to salvage his dignity (ha! a total lie) and ‘even things up’.

He now looks an extra from the opening scene from Full Metal Jacket.

“I’m baldy. I didn’t know you were going to do it like that!” he beseeched. 

I feel alive, so alive.



Video is Johnny Wright - Hello Vietnam, from Full Metal Jacket

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