Tomorrow will be the last of my 26 blogs in 26 days to raise money for the Prader-Willi Syndrome Association, the charity closest to my heart and soul.
Other people may have chosen more physical feats for their 2.6 Challenges, but I firmly believe that prattling on has its place in the world, and I have planted my prattling on flag here with pride.
As I write this, the total on my fundraising page stands just shy of a grand. This is amazing.
But I’ve decided to make a rash promise to try and squeeze a few more quid out of people.
This could be because of my altruistic nature. It could possibly have more to do with my befuddled lockdown brain finally running out of things to say as I lose the plot entirely. You can examine the evidence if you like - I just had a re-read of all the posts so far and I’m frankly surprised today’s doesn’t just say ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’.
So I’m making a pledge. If I can get another £250 for the PWSA UK by tomorrow afternoon, I will shave my head.
Or rather, I will let my 11-year-old son loose on me with the clippers. Which will be an extreme act of revenge for him, as I gave him a very bad buzzcut near the start of the lockdown, which he still hasn’t forgiven me for eight weeks later. I’m started to wish ‘gloating glee’ hadn’t been my go-to demeanour. The words ‘suck it up, baldy boy’ are going to return to haunt me, aren’t they?
I know this is not an original idea. People have shaved their heads for charity since as long as I can remember.
But what you have to take into account is my big old potato face, which has filled out considerably due to reckless levels of beer as I have inventively interpreted government advice to Stay Home as being Stay Home and Get Pished. (This is making the Stay Alert bit much more difficult, I can tell you).
Mine is not an elfin visage, with delicate features. As much as I would love to end up looking like Sinead O’Connor, I have more than a sneaking suspicion I will bear a far greater resemblance to Varys from Game of Thrones. Or that bald woman out of Total Recall.
So look, 100 of you, divvy up. £2.50 each. Let’s say £2.60 to tie in with the 2.6 theme.
And you can all have a great big laugh at my great fat head.
Oh God. I’m going to regret this. Share away, you bastards, share away.
Song is James Brown - Payback
Film clip = 'All work and no play...' - The Shining
As part of the 2.6 Challenge (which is asking people to fundraise and donate towards small charities that are threatened with closure because of the effects of the Covid-19 crisis) I'm currently writing 26 blogs in 26 days.The PWSA UK is a charity which is absolutely vital for people with PWS, their families, carers and professionals who work with them. Without urgent help, PWSA UK will fold. This charity saves lives and for some people makes lives worth living. I love each and every one of you who donated. But I will have a little bit of hate for those of you who contribute in this little last push if you manage to force me to look like an idiot for the next few months. You do realise that if you make me do this, a cure will be found instantly for Covid-19 and millions of people will be getting their hair done by professionals, who would NEVER let me do this.