The sound of The Tweenies' Christmas Album is blasting out through our house. My daughter is approximating the tunes and jigging about in a festive manner.
At this time of year she normally has an attack of the collywobbles, sparked by the nagging thought that perhaps she hasn’t been good enough to make Santa’s Nice List.
I was convinced the levels of worry would reach supersonic levels this December after recent displays of unprecedented boundary-testing. The triple whammy of teenage hormones, emotional immaturity, and a stubborn streak a mile wide, have seen a late surge of crosses in the Naughty Column. When was she going to have a contrition meltdown?
The answer came the other day. She buried her head in a notebook and began to write. An hour later she presented me with a two page Apology To End All Apologies.
“We’d better get this to Father Christmas,” she told me solemnly. “Quickly.”
Dear Santa,
I do apologise about my behaviour last week. I am really sorry about reading at midnight and later. I am really sorry about not listen to my Mum and staying awake all night. I was really upset because dad hit my bed but not me, Santa.* I do not have enough space on the page and I would like to tell you more about my behaviour, Santa...
...I am really sorry for getting up for a book at midnight to put in my schoolbag and my Mum and Dad was mad at me. And Dad chucked my Princess Magazine in my bag. I am really sorry about not listen to the teachers at school and Mum and Dad was absolutely livid indeed at me.* I am really sorry about my silly behaviour, Santa, and very sorry about sillying behaviour at school.
lots of love from J.
I am really sorry about being naughty girl before Christmas. Am I on the nice list for Christmas? Will you tell me I am a good girl for Christmas on the video Mum has got on the computer like last year?
lots of love from J again.
I am really sorry for doing.
lots of love from J.
xxx
xxx
xxx
*Her Dad did indeed smack his hand down on her bed in exasperation at one point during the Night Of The Long Books; Social Services please note the BUT NOT ME bit.
*I am now adopting ‘absolutely livid indeed’ as my phrase of choice to indicate all levels of irritation or anger.
So, what do you think? My conclusion is that she should be completely forgiven for any misdemeanours. If you don’t think this is the fulsomest of fulsome apologies, then you will be forcibly fed cold Brussels sprouts until you agree.
Video is Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues. Yes, I know it's a stretch, but I had to make up for the following tune...
Love this post. In fact, love all your posts. As it's coming to the end of the year and there's always that small doubt that we all may self combust with the stress of the season, you need to know the pleasure that your blog provides. The familiarity of the situations you write so fabulously about make such fantastic - and comforting - reading. So, so good to know that we're all in this together and that our kids, however testing, are not alone in their weird and wonderful ways. So thank you, lovely lady, for sharing, for the reassurance and inspiration you give, for writing so brilliantly about the absurdities of our lives and lastly and most importantly, for the laughs. Merry Christmas......
ReplyDeleteRachel xxxxx
Thanks, Rachel. That's very kind of you to say so. I find writing this so cathartic - it's a place where I share the good stuff and let off steam about the bad stuff, and in the process don't get overwhelmed by all the...stuff.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it resonates with you. Have a great Christmas yourself x
Christmas amnesty, but only until January 5th. Then it's back to being absolutely livid at all times.
ReplyDeleteIndeed.
DeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteDo you think that your daughter tests boundaries more often than usual ? If so, could you figure out why ? Do you think that she expresses her anxiety over more boundary testing whereas when she was younger, she expressed her anxiety differently ?
Do you think that it's time to assess her needs and, maybe responding to it differently ?
After all, your daughter is 14 years old now, and what worked when your daughter was 7yo may not work as well now, some needs may have changed...
Do you think that your daughter can have sensory issues that she didn't have as a child, but she cannot explain them to you as well as a more typical child ?
Do you think that she receives appropriate treatment from doctors to suit her current needs ? (so, not the needs of last year or two years ago, her needs now)
After all, you are the expert of your daughter.
Doctor are specialist of disorders, you are specialist of your child.
Do you think that her diet plan is workable currently ? Have you seen more food seeking behavior currently ? Does she beg for more food ?
I don't have any sort of magic solution to help you, and I apologise if my comment is off target.
But it sounds that it's very difficult to sort what is adolescent behavior, what is due to her intellectual disability and what is due to PWS. It can also be due to other needs unrelated to PWS.
I wish all the best to you and your family
Thanks, Giula, and to you too!
DeleteYou're right - we're always very aware that not everything can be put down to PWS. She is a teenager, after all. We're keeping a close eye on her, liaising closely with the school, and will discuss any new issues with her consultant when we see her next. Thanks for your comments.
Wonderful blog as always. Re the Amazon incident, I've had a similar thing happen with my son - in his case Angry Birds power-ups. Needless to say, I was absolutely livid indeed (love that phrase!) but hopefully all sorted out now. If we can teach him that (200 + 100 free) is not the same as 300 free, then that's another step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely Christmas.
You too, Malc.
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