Sunday, 22 March 2015


The things we say shape our children. Our verbal interactions with them mould their personalities, inspire them, help them as they learn how to think, how to act, and how to be.

What would Einstein have achieved if his mum hadn’t regularly used the phrase: “Well, it’s all relative, isn’t it”? What would have happened to Martin Luther King if his ma hadn’t reassured him after a restless night by saying: “What you’ve had there, my boy, is a dream”? What would we remember Captain Oates for if his mum hadn’t told him: “Whenever you go out, always give people an idea of how long you’re going to be. Especially if it’s cold”?

There’s one such phrase that I use every day. Something I hope my children will take on board, learn, understand, remember, and be moved by. Usually I say it from behind a closed door, but the lack of eye contact doesn’t diminish its heartfelt power.

It’s this: “Can you please, please, just let me have a poo in peace!”

Video is Gladys Knight & The Pips - Where Peaceful Waters Flow

Sunday, 15 March 2015


I was woken up by two attention-seeking missiles. I’m not talking about my husband’s testicles, he was on the early shift. My kids, I mean my kids.

They came bearing gifts. An LP (which was not a surprise, as aforementioned husband had told me to order it for myself from them). My little boy had bought me a box of maltesers from the Mothers’ Day table top sale at his school. And my PWS teenager, eyeing the chocs with deep interest, gave me a tapestry handbag, because, hey, I’m a real tapestry handbag kind of woman. “You know you gave me £2 to spend at school on Red Nose Day, well I had 20p left, so I got you this,” she explained. “I know you’ve got a bag, but this one’s got a camel on it.”

The messages inside their homemade cards said it all. The lad’s was an outpouring of random stuff (the mercenary bits given top priority, but I was dead pleased with the ‘cuddles’, and hugely relieved not to be thanked sarcastically for ‘all the shouting’). My girl’s was short. Pithy. Misspelt.

They were both beautiful.

Happy Morthers.

Video is Public Service Broadcasting - Gagarin, from the LP wot I got.