Saturday, 19 April 2014


She appeared in my bedroom doorway.
“Come on in bed for a cuddle,” I said.
She padded over, kneeling on my shin as she decided to climb over me, rather than go round and get in on the free side.
“Hggh hhhgghgggh hgh hghhh hghhhghhggh,” she said, snuggling under the covers with me.
“Take out your retainers, poppet.”
She took out the drool-filled gum-shield-like tooth moulds and dropped them on my face.
“Thanks for that.”
“What? Oh, sorry Mummy.”
“You OK?”
“I’m OK. I clattered my teeth together, Mum.”
“Yes, that’s normal, sweetheart.”
“It’s just where teeth are, isn’t it? They clatter together. But I don’t grind them.”
“No, you don’t grind them.”
“Is my hair falling out?”
“No, don’t be silly, of course it’s not. You’ve got lovely, thick hair, and it’s growing longer all the time!”
“Why are there hairs on my hairbrush then?”
“Well, that’s where your hairs...well...they fall out, but you’ve got millions of hairs and they’re constantly regrowing so your hair isn’t actually falling out like going bald falling out. You’ve got nothing to worry about there.”
“Hmm, what?”
“It is falling out like going bald falling out, you know. And I know what it’s called.”
“You do?”
“Yep. Alapeaches. I’ve got alapeaches.”

Song is The Presidents Of The United States Of America - Peaches

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this song and had the album-and it is a much nicer name for baldness than the real medical term ;)