Monday, 30 September 2013


This might be a bit dull for you, so I’ll make it quick.

No, I’m not quoting what my husband says to me in bed, the charmer.

It’s our wedding anniversary today. 18 years ago he took me up the aisle (I’m sorry, this seems to be turning into a Carry On homage).

Strangely, I wasn’t nervous. This was despite the fact that everyone was looking at me and I was wearing a big white frock (although my calm, steady demeanour was greatly aided by the anchoring effect of a pair of 16 hole white DM boots).

I just knew, that’s all. I’d known for a long time: we’d been together for six years already. I was 24 and I was sure. This big, tall, handsome fella, who looked like Nick Faldo when he scrubbed up and Paul Merton when he got up, was who I wanted, who I needed, who I loved. 

He was everything. He still is.

Er ... just to be clear, I'm referring to my husband, not Nick Faldo. Or Paul Merton. That’d be a bit weird.

And when I say everything, I mean there is other 'stuff' that I couldn't live without, like our two kids, and our record player.  

I'm ruining this, now, aren't I?

Video is the Have I Got News For You credits from 1995, the year we got married.


  1. Bird, you and bloke are the best people ever, fact. You are brilliant people, brilliant friends - best friends to me and that other bird, you know who you are butt-plug! But most of all, you are amazing parents. You have been strong when things seemed bleak, and only took comfort, and sought support in each other, i don't know and will never know how you have done it, with all the complications that come as part and parcel of life as parents to Josie, and the sheer determination and dedication that takes, still astounds me now. But i also know you would never have it any other way. You also have your work cut out with that nutcase and all round Tasmanian Devil that is Daniel, lol. But you know what, its because you and Ian are who you are, separately but most importantly, together, that you manage all this. Just know that a lot of people adore you, admire you and love you because of it. I am proud to call you my friends and remember the wedding like yesterday, especially blow up Pete and his detachable dildo. Happy Anniversary you two, love K xx

  2. Hey, Anonymous. What on earth are you talking about? I have absolutely no idea who you are. A blow up man at a wedding? I'm so much classier than that; you have obviously never met me!

    Oh, wait, that did happen, didn't it. Oh, it's you.

    My friend, that's a lovely message (apart from the references to Ann Summers accoutrements - you do realise my mum reads this, don't you?). You're way too kind, though - you've shown equal amounts of determination and dedication yourself with some of what's life thrown at you. I'm in awe of your resilience and spirit, my girl. You're one of the most amazing people I know, and I love you, too, you big, soft numpty x

    Oh, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me knowing you've found your Paul Merton.