Monday, 10 February 2014


My daughter isn’t autistic, but then again, she is.

When disability, learning difficulties, and special schools are part of your everyday life, you tend to hear the phrase “on the spectrum” quite often. Now, because of my age, this always makes me think of someone sitting playing Lunar Jetman on a plasticky ZX computer. But what it usually refers to is the autistic spectrum.

Prader-Willi Syndrome is a disorder which is not a subtype of autism. But it is associated with it, because it overlaps in some ways. And we had a classic autism overlap today, when a man broke into our car.

This isn’t as alarming as it sounds, although it was alarm-sounding. The helpful chap was from our breakdown firm, who we’d called out after our car (in a Skynet, Terminator, Rise Of The Machines type way) had decided unilaterally to lock itself up and not allow us in. Apparently it was a latch failure, although I believe it may have been the first step in Kia’s evil plan to take over the world. Presumably the Machiavellian Kia robot hive-mind will be working to achieve the overthrow of the human race within seven years, as it will still be covered by the warranty.

Anyway, armed with what I believe is technically known as a small balloon thingy, and a long, metal, hook thingy, the car thief, sorry, car entry assistant, managed to get in and we were able to drive the sodding C'eed to the garage to be repaired. Under the evil warranty.

The only thing was, I’d told my daughter the night before that a recovery lorry might have to tow it away. So when her dad collected her from After School Club, she quizzed him eagerly on the day’s exciting developments, and demonstrated how she just cannot put herself in someone else’s shoes and logically realise what they must have been thinking. If she knows something, then why would the other person not know it? 

“Yes, the tow truck did come. But they didn’t need to use it, because the man managed to open the door anyway.”
“Did he bring the lorry?”
“Yes, but he didn’t need it.”
“So why did he bring it?”
“Well, he didn’t know that he wouldn’t need it.”
"But he didn't need it."
"Yes, but he didn't know that."
“Why didn’t he know?”
“Because he hadn’t looked at the car yet.”
“So why did he bring it, if he didn’t need it?”

That’s it. That’s our girl's “on the spectrumness” in a proverbial nutshell.

Song is Dee Dee Sharp Gamble - Breaking And Entering

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