Tuesday, 12 August 2014


25 years is a long time and it’s no time at all.

25 years is made up of lots of times.

The time he smuggled me into a music festival after buying a wristband from a dodgy geezer, before realising he was left, alone, on the wrong side of the gate. The first time I felt lost and found in a kiss. The times I’ve looked across at him and felt luckier than everyone else in the room.

The time he went pale at the wedding rehearsal and I was convinced he was having second thoughts, until he confessed later that he’d been dying for a poo. The time our baby girl was born. The time they told us she had a frightening, cruel, disability.

The time he taught our boy to ride a bike. The times he’s held my hand in front of a silent ultrasound. The time our bed fell to pieces in a horrific mash-up of an adult film and a game of Giant Jenga.

The time we drank pina colada and got caught in the rain (just like in the song, apart from that we weren’t cheating bastards). The times I hang back when we walk down the street (generally not a good idea when I'm downwind of him after a curry), just to take in the sight of him walking hand in hand with one of our children. 

The times he's been funny, strong, patient, steadfast, silly, soppy, kind, and been here, always here.

And those times. Y'know. *winks*.

He is my constant. And, according to my calculations, today he’s been my constant for 25 years.

I’m talking, of course, about the milkman. No, not really. It’s the husband, and I never get him to dress up in a milkman’s uniform (although, come to think of it, there is something about that Pat Mustard fella in Father Ted...).

So here’s to my constant man. I will state here, for the record, I’m ready, willing and able to be constant for another quarter decade if he is. Of course there is an exclusion clause, of which he's fully aware: once he's incontinent, I’m off. Constancy will only take you so far...

Note: For anyone who isn't sure, the first photo is my husband, the second one is Pat Mustard. It's not some sort of Before And After 25 Years With Me gallery, honest.

So what was number one twenty five years ago? Well, apparently, Swing The Mood by Jive Bunny. If you think I’m picking that as the song for this blog entry you are insane. Instead, here's Boards Of Canada - Constants Are Changing.