Year

One year ago, I wrote my first entry on this blog, with little idea that 12 months later I’d have posted more than 150 of the buggers.

Most have been fun to write. Some have been hugely difficult. 

I’ve realised some things about my daughter - and myself - that I’m not sure I would have understood or dealt with if I hadn’t sat at my keyboard, sometimes in the dead of night, tapping out little bits of my heart.

This blog has had just over 36,000 page views, which sounds quite a lot, until you realise that 1,000 of those came from Google searches where people were looking for a picture of an oyster, apparently. Still, I know there are a few of you out there who’ve stuck with me, so thanks.

If it wasn’t for this wee speck on the internet, I wouldn’t have get to know some fine people, both online and in the meat world. If it wasn’t for this outlet, I wouldn’t always have slept so soundly. And if it wasn’t for the positive feedback I’ve had, I would never have dreamed of getting up on stage in front of a pub full of strangers and talking about my daughter back in January (as detailed in the blog entry Secret). Those 10 terrifying minutes in the spotlight helped rid me of more demons than a Buffy The Vampire Slayer re-enactment society.

I still love my girl as fiercely as ever. I still feel lucky to have her and my boy, against all the odds. I still want to share the good bits, the bad bits and the bits that make me laugh.

Thanks for listening. All of you. Even the man who keeps wanting to help me increase the size of my penis. FOR THE 100th TIME, I HAVEN’T GOT ONE, ALL RIGHT?

Song is Edwyn Collins & Johnny Marr - Come Tomorrow, Come Today

Here's a Spotify playlist with all the songs I've posted on this blog in the past year. Well nearly all - a couple aren't on Spotify. And I've been revisionist and ignored Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey's Christmas duet. Because no-one should have to listen to that.

Certain

I’ve not got much to say, for once. It’s all fairly simple.

I started going out with him when I was 17 and he was a 24-year-old lorry driver. I had no idea when I met him that he’d turn out to be the strongest, kindest man I know. 

My mum wasn’t overly pleased at the age difference, as you can imagine. I think she suspected him of being some sort of pervert. She was right, he was. But she soon realised he was also a keeper.

I’m glad I kept him. 

There’s really not a lot else I was right about when I was 17. Today, 22 years later, and on the occasion of our 16th wedding anniversary, I know he was the best decision I’ve ever made.

The sight of my daughter walking along the street with her funny little splay-footed gait, and her Stevie-Wonder bobbly head going from side to side, gripping his hand tightly, still makes me happier than just about anything else in the world.

On the darkest days, he’s been there. On the brightest days, he’s been there. He's the one I turn to when I laugh and when I cry. He's the only man I've ever loved. And in an uncertain world, with a daughter who faces an uncertain future, he’s the thing I’m most certain of.


Song is Kathryn Williams - Old Low Light #2

Video is Aretha Franklin - Dr Feelgood (Love Is A Serious Business). Good God Almighty!