Monday, 18 May 2020

Day Twenty Three

I am used to random queries from my daughter. 

My favourite ever was: “Is Hitler in the school toilets?” The answer, which should come as no surprise to you, was no. Let’s face it, however desperate a time-travelling Hitler was for a fuhrerdumpf he’d never have got past reception, would he?

Today’s question, which has been unravelling nicely over lockdown, like my sanity, wasn’t quite to that standard. 

“If I sleep on my back, I won’t get taller, will I?” my girl asked, several times. Phase 1 was launched.
“No. You won’t,” I replied.
“Mum, if I sleep on my back, I won’t get taller, will I, and that’s good if I don’t get taller, isn’t it?” Phase 2 had been initiated.
“Mum, if I sleep on my back, I won’t get taller, will I, and that’s good if I don’t get taller, isn’t it, because I can still ride my trike and my feet can reach the pedals.” Boom! Phase 3 was deployed and detonated.

I don’t know where to start with the flaws in her logic. Quite how choosing to sleep on her back could affect her height is beyond me. And wouldn’t it be getting shorter, not taller, that would make reaching the pedals a problem? There's also the small matter of her being 21, so her growing years are over, let alone the fact she had spinal fusion surgery at the age of 10.

But pointing this out would be a dangerous plan. Best not to get sucked in. A Prader-Willi person on a questioning jag reminds me for some reason of that quote from The Terminator, you know the one...
"That terminator is out there. It cannot be bargained with. It cannot be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.".
Actually, on second thoughts, that's a bit extreme. A PWS person would stop when it was teatime. But you get the picture; they can go on a bit. The best tactics in this situation, is to agree, firmly, and leave the room quicker than Adolf jettisoning his kampf.

The only problem today was the Second Front. Running away from one child only put me in the line of fire from the other.

My boy had decided early on that this Monday would be an ‘appalling, anarchic attitude and backchat during his home school lessons’ kind of Monday. 

Attempting to supervise him on a piece of work that should have taken just a few minutes saw me eventually resort to several embarrassing clichés, including: “It’s your own time you’re wasting.”

But the smart little bastard can always burst my bubble. Right when my emotion level was bubbling around ‘abolutely livid’, I warned him: “Don’t laugh. If nobody else is laughing then it’s not funny,” I said.

He didn’t miss a beat: “Tell Uncle Ian that.”

Song is Johnny Nash - There Are More Questions Than Answers

As part of the 2.6 Challenge (which is asking people to fundraise and donate towards small charities that are threatened with closure because of the effects of the Covid-19 crisis) I'm currently writing 26 blogs in 26 days.The PWSA UK is a charity which is absolutely vital for people with PWS, their families, carers and professionals who work with them. Without urgent help, PWSA UK will fold. This charity saves lives and for some people makes lives worth living. If you can, please go to my Just Giving page and donate anything you can spare - a few pence or a few pounds, it all counts. You've got three more days of this and then I'll stop, I mean that's worth something, isn't it?

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